Let's get it on

I thought I would share with everyone my awesome running playlist. Just in the spirit of the FRIGID cold outside. Because without a playlist this awesome, there is no way I would ever ever exercise. And a Catherine who isn't exercising is a Catherine who isn't much fun to be around.

Onward!

Where's the Love (It's a crime that embedding is disabled on that song.)

Creep (Seriously, YouTube -- fail!)

Magic Dance



Forever (YouTube, why aren't you cooperating? I've got things to do.)

Burnin' Up



Right Where You Want Me



Circus (Fine. You win.)

Till I Collapse




Chris Brown and David Bowie are my super husbands. I think that people can take some notes of what awesome music is. Yep.





Exciting Update: I just discovered when taking off my shoes tonight that I have developed this awesome thing!

Runner's Toe

My shoes are apparently too small, so I am going to develop these bad boy blisters UNDERNEATH my toenails until we can afford to buy me new $120 sneakers.

It's so foul.

Marcus drained the blister for me while I cried hysterically because I am deathly afraid of needles. He's a keeper. He has no idea what he is going to have to deal with if I get a Fulbright and we have to get all sorts of inoculations. He might leave me...

'Round the Table questions even though we are just sitting here on the couch by ourselves

Is this thing on? We forgot about this blog again. We are all-stars. The updates are Fast and Furious, like Vin Diesel. Rock? Nrrrrreeeee?

This post for our family, but they are the only people who read this anyway.

Question time!

1. If you had to play one video game for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Marcus: Peggle Nights
Catherine: Peggle

2. If you had to listen to one song on loop, and it was always playing everywhere you went, what song would you pick?
Marcus: Alone by Heart
Catherine: Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely

3. If you could hang out with any comic book character, who would it be?
Marcus: Bigby from Fables
Catherine: Jughead from Archie
Marcus: No, Fin Fang Foom.

4. If you had to have facial reconstruction surgery and look like someone famous, who would it be?
Marcus: Shel Silverstein
Catherine: Mickey Rouke. Just kidding. Kate Winslet.

5. If you had to eat one fruit or vegetable for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Marcus: Eggplant. Wizards.
Catherine: Bananas

6. What superpower would you want?
Marcus: Mandarin's 10 rings and facial hair. Just kidding. Blackbolt's voice.
Catherine: To be able to warm up, except it would make me susceptible to people who could make me into a pie.

7. Would you rather be 100 feet tall or 10 inches tall?
Marcus: 100 ft, so I could get everybody.
Catherine: 10 inches, so I could hide places and be a spy.

Take some notes

My mom's side of the family has started a blog (no, really):

Renuart Nation

And I really just think that the world needs to take some notes on what winners look like.


I am the baby in red overalls to the left. What you can't quite make out is that my right eye is completely black (an unfortunate occurance which involved a refrigerator, a kitchen counter, and my eye socket). My mom is the prettiest woman. And that is a normal size for a family. Considering that this is just the first round of grandchildren...















The next round starts. I'm the kid on the top step, far right. I wish I still wore that outfit (especially the shoes). And had that hair cut.


But the ultimate get is my game face in this photo (you probably need to the Renuart site and click on the photo to get it full size in order to appreciate this). And that vest that I am wearing. I mean Jamie's pose (who is to the right). Really, it's Haley who was the cutest child. And Tim, who was never more than 10 feet away from her for about 6 years.

Happy Times

Sometimes you just need a bobbin to make you smile:


Once upon a time... from Capucha on Vimeo.




Joshua dancing to "Apologize" from Joe Tran on Vimeo.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

The wife ain't the only one can update.

Hey there, blog! How's it going? I had the day off today, but then two things happened:

1. I am sick with blargh, despite trying SOSO hard not to get sick; and

2. I had to grade 25 essays that were also somehow sick with blargh.

Do you know what teaching school is, blog? Teaching school is bogus.

Like this:



Au revoir, blog. Je vomis.

Sirs and Ma'ams

We didn't know.











How could we have known that Swedish dance bands were so incredible?

I am starting a free love commune with every single one of those men. 'Cause I need to get up on all of that. There is no time to waste.

More of these fine-looking gentlemen can be found here.

But I saved my true love for last:

Oh, man to the far right... I didn't know that my heart could beat like this...

Bobbin

We have both been super blargh monsters with serious cold/flu things for the past week or so, but we just got great news that Josh and Heidi had their baby! Follow the links to see the tiny baby (born by c-section) and the happy parents. We are so thrilled for them and can't wait to meet Miss Izzie in person.

Baby Isabella Rose

Rebuking rebuttal.

I must concede that Meatloaf did pose good competition with "I Would Do Anything for Love," but really. Can you top these two at once? A one-two punch. A duo of women who have brought us some of the cheesiest power ballads of all time.



What happened to divas?



And of course Mariah Carey's Hero

Rebuttal.

I admit that it is nearly impossible to call, but in the end, how does Meatloaf not win? Even against Celine Dion. Look:



This is exactly how Cat and I met, except without all the lesbians (and the subsequent mirror-breaking), but definitely with the me being a monster and then there being a police detective in glasses and then we were riding off into the sunset. Also, however old I was when I first saw this, all I remembered was the lesbians. So awesome.

But then there's Meatloaf covering Celine Dion. So I guess he answered the bell:



Just kidding. That is the worst.

Importanter update!

Seriously, if you want a for real power ballad:

Celine Dion -- It's All Coming Back to Me Now.

Curse youtube for disabling embedding of Celine Dion. But I promise you it is worth it. It's got explosions, ghosts, storms, flashes of light. She is the unbeatable winner of my heart.

Important update!

Seriously, everybody, quick:

Oh baby, oh baby

Okay, I think that most girls have a short list of women for whom they would immediately become a lesbian.

Meet my number 1:



I mean, come ON! Those breasts--incredible!

Not to mention is she is not a bad little actress.



Plus, she was Saffron. Who wouldn't want to marry Saffron?



Christina, baby, any time, any place. Call me.

Fly a fantasy.

Excuse me, sir?

Cat and I just watched The NeverEnding Story, which I have just discovered is my favorite movie of all time, supplanting The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. You just can't beat something I first saw when I was five years old, Peter Jackson. I'm sorry.

I made sure Cat appreciated some of the better touches -- Bastian taking the attic key from its broken holder, Charlotte's cameo as Morla, the Ancient One -- and I also showed her the video for Limahl's "NeverEnding Story."

You have to watch it. Embedding has been disabled by request, which hasn't stopped 1.5 million people from watching this, so get to it. And then pay attention when it hits the 2:00 mark, because that's when magic happens. That image capture at the top of this post? That's the face Limahl makes while singing the chorus. Why is Limahl making an orgasmic/heroin face? Except kind of bored? Who's the woman in the background? How is this the best video you've ever seen?

Live-blogging the evening: Part 9.

I'm searching for the perfect feeling...

Whoops. I passed out, missed most of Camp Rock, and now have a raging headache. Good thing that catching the first ten minutes and the last ten minutes of the movie are enough to provide the entire plot.

Also, Demi Lovato? No more dancing for you. Maybe I can't tell through the fog of my epic fail, but you and dancing are a no.

Live-blogging the evening: Part 8.

Are you serious, Jonas #3?

Let's go! Camp Rock! First, I plan on not learning how to differentiate the Jonas Brothers other than by arbitrary distinctions, such as which one is the gayest or the worst. In fact, I plan on treating this as a massive comparative experiment: Who is gayer, the Gay Jonas Brother or Zac Efron? (Just kidding, everybody. Zac Efron will never be topped.)

So far, I have no idea what the plot is. I failed at processing the beginning of the movie, so I'm now joining it as whats-her-name shows up at Camp Rock. There is a lot of screaming.

Cat and Juila were just having an argument with me about who's prettier: Vanessa Hudgens or Demi Lovato. At first, I was pretty much ready to fight about the fact that Vanessa Hudgens is a troll and Demi Lovato is cute. Then I realized that I'm 28 and what the hell am I doing? Also, music has finally started:



I feel like I'm watching Fame, but it's not as good.

Live-blogging the evening: Part 7.

We've now watched this scene three or four times in a row. It is the most incredible scene in the history of movies. If you gave me two years and a hundred thousand dollars, I might be able to break it down for you, but right now? Whew. I'll do my best.

You have this:



Which is more incredible in motion than here, even with the incredible fey thing his hands are doing. Toward the end, he also spins and jumps by some water:



Again, the still doesn't do it justice. Just remember that this is his angst-ridden, tough-guy song. This is it. Spinning in midair.

But the moment that shattered my belief that I could ever blog about this scene effectively is right here:



He is talking to his reflection. His face looks like this, and it is incredible. You are the better man, High School Musical 2. I concede.

BONUS: The Internet wins. While looking for pictures of Vigo, I found someone's opus, and here it is. You're welcome.

Live-blogging the evening: Part 6.

At this point, I feel like I've fallen asleep and am now dreaming one of my surreal dreams. Are they really in the pool? Is this what a date is like? Should I be taking Catherine to the pool and pretending to be a gay guy pretending to be straight? Romance is so confusing.

Whoa. I think I did fall asleep for a little bit. I will make it to Camp Rock, but it's safe to say that HSM2 is not holding my interest.

Live-blogging the evening: Part 5.

We're up to "The Music In Me," and all I can see (vaguely -- so many mudslides!) is that Kelsi is so alone. The gay kid and his ineptly lip-synching beard are making out in front of her TOTES UNINVITED (I am saying totes for the evening), and she's all alone. I would make you feel less alone, Kelsi.


Damn you, Troy, you know you're just leading Gabrielle on

It totally sucks to be the third wheel. Sorry. I mean that it totes sucks to be the third wheel.

Live-blogging the evening: Part 4.

And we are go on High School Musical 2. Gabriella still can't lip-synch (or sing), Troy is still gay, and I am fixing another blended explosion of whatever we bought today at the store.

Let's talk about Ms. Darbus, though (and I did have to look that up at IMDB, no worries):



There is not a high school teacher in this world who is not more excited than the kids for that last bell. We are salivating over it. But in movies, teachers take on one of three stereotypes:

1. The iconoclastic teacher who strives to inspire and huarargh vomit sounds. Robin Williams is the worst. Dead Poets Society is ass. No teaching is like this. I get that you make students and (dumb) teachers feel like they can make kids love learning. IT'S JUST THAT YOU'D MAKE A BETTER FOOL FOR SATAN, ROBIN WILLIAMS:



Shut your face, Robin Williams.

2. The young, inspirational teacher who is probably banging one of the students. They love this one on teen dramas. Because none of us is capable of being professional, you know. Mostly, we just go ahead and teach some children how to sin. All you have to do is smoke, get drunk or better yet, give illegal drugs or alcohol to under-aged children. Cheat, gamble, gossip, and live being as selfish as possible. Do all of this in the presence of children and they will do it too. Kids are like that.

3. Then there's Ms. Darbus, who is oblivious and/or inept. The teacher who can't relate, won't relate, stumbles around like a retarded person (oops), and so on. So nice, Hollywood!

Oh, and there's a fourth -- the super-mean teacher who abuses kids "in order to teach them." (Who am I quoting?) That's me, except I don't teach them anything. Except to be quiet when I'm reading the paper or napping.

Wait, there's a fifth type (don't give up on it; wait about 1:30 for the insanely long intro to yield SOLID GOLD):



True story.

Live-blogging the evening: Part 3.

IT'S JUST THAT YOU'D MAKE A BETTER FOOL FOR CHRIST.

I can't find pictures of Zac Efron in the amazing all-denim outfit he wore to "woo" Gabriella, even though that outfit alone made this movie night worth it. (Also, the vodka helps.)

But I found this: High School Musical fan fiction.

Three years ago, I lived next door to a woman who wrote fan fiction for a living. She said she was part of a massive InuYasha fan-fic site, and people paid her to write things. I couldn't believe it then, and I feel bad about this now, but seriously:

Story Ideas:

1 Click Here:Gabriella Montez is a new student at east high. While she is there, she keeps an online private blog and writes about every new person she meets. What happens when her blog gets leaked to the entire student body and everyon starts to hate her? (troyella)~complete

2 Summer Love: Gabriella Montez's family has a landscaping bussiness. When her family recieves a new client, will Gabriella find love? More importantly, will her brothers allow it?~complete

3 Message Sent:Troy Bolton meets a friend online. Thinking that this person is no more than a penpal, he tells them all of his secrets and thoughts. What happens when this person is closer than he thinks? What will become of the friendship? More importantly, will he ever find out who the person is?~ sequel to Click Here~Complete

That just happened! (PS: Troy's secret thoughts are about boys.) Someone really meant that -- and dozens more stories -- and then, just when I was feeling a little guilty for picking on someone for his or her love of High School Musical... I found this:

A LETTER TO YOU FROM SATAN:

That's right. A LETTER TO YOU FROM SATAN. Exactly what you would expect next to HSM fan fiction. A couple of highlights:

Thanks to you, I'm really showing Him who's boss in your life with all of the good times we've had.We have been... watching dirty movies, cursing people out, stealing, lying, being hypocritical, overeating, telling dirty jokes, gossiping, being judgmental, back stabbing people, dis-respecting adults, and those in leadership positions. No respect for the Church, bad attitudes.

Hey! I like all of those things, too! But this is really worth the time for this part, which is now my motto:

So go ahead and teach some children how to sin.All you have to do is smoke, get drunk or better yet, give illegal drugs or alcohol to under-aged children. Cheat, gamble, gossip, and live being as selfish as possible. Do all of this in the presence of children and they will do it too. Kids are like that.

Kids are like that. Got me.

And then there's the closing, which is how I now plan on signing every email, personal or professional, from now on:

Don't get me wrong, I still hate you.

IT'S JUST THAT YOU'D MAKE A BETTER FOOL FOR CHRIST.

P.S. If you love me, you won't share this.

"If you love me, you won't share this." Satan is the champ.