Live-blogging the evening: Part 4.

And we are go on High School Musical 2. Gabriella still can't lip-synch (or sing), Troy is still gay, and I am fixing another blended explosion of whatever we bought today at the store.

Let's talk about Ms. Darbus, though (and I did have to look that up at IMDB, no worries):



There is not a high school teacher in this world who is not more excited than the kids for that last bell. We are salivating over it. But in movies, teachers take on one of three stereotypes:

1. The iconoclastic teacher who strives to inspire and huarargh vomit sounds. Robin Williams is the worst. Dead Poets Society is ass. No teaching is like this. I get that you make students and (dumb) teachers feel like they can make kids love learning. IT'S JUST THAT YOU'D MAKE A BETTER FOOL FOR SATAN, ROBIN WILLIAMS:



Shut your face, Robin Williams.

2. The young, inspirational teacher who is probably banging one of the students. They love this one on teen dramas. Because none of us is capable of being professional, you know. Mostly, we just go ahead and teach some children how to sin. All you have to do is smoke, get drunk or better yet, give illegal drugs or alcohol to under-aged children. Cheat, gamble, gossip, and live being as selfish as possible. Do all of this in the presence of children and they will do it too. Kids are like that.

3. Then there's Ms. Darbus, who is oblivious and/or inept. The teacher who can't relate, won't relate, stumbles around like a retarded person (oops), and so on. So nice, Hollywood!

Oh, and there's a fourth -- the super-mean teacher who abuses kids "in order to teach them." (Who am I quoting?) That's me, except I don't teach them anything. Except to be quiet when I'm reading the paper or napping.

Wait, there's a fifth type (don't give up on it; wait about 1:30 for the insanely long intro to yield SOLID GOLD):



True story.