Threw a fractal on a breaking wall.

Today I discovered a mix CD in the car with "Christmas?" written on it. That's it, just "Christmas?" in my handwriting. We threw it in the CD player while we were driving around, and pretty soon I realized that, while I have no memory of making this CD, it might be the best one I ever put together.

Here is a screenshot of the iTunes playlist, which we put together as soon as we got home:



Crazy -- I guess this is why it was a "Christmas?" album. Clearly Crazy is a Christmas song, just not in the usual way. When this song starts, by the way, your butt always clenches a little bit, because you know you're about to get punched in your intestines with feelings. Seal's feelings.

Tear in Your Hand -- Tori Amos has never had a unique way of pronouncing all of her words. "Unique" meaning "these are no longer words."

Stranger in Moscow -- Every time I stumble across an unlabeled mix CD, there's a good chance this song is on it. And I know it's there when a track has no sound for 25 seconds. Michael Jackson needed 25 seconds to relax before starting on the most epic description of existential isolation ever committed to song. Think about it: "Stalin's tomb won't let me be." Only that line has six or seven extra syllables in it. Syllables of feeling.

Gz and Hustlas -- I like to play these songs around my wife and remind her that I grew up on gangsta rap. When a line like "How many hos in '94 will I be banging?" comes up, and I am delivering it right along with Snoop, I like to imagine what thoughts are going through her head. Because I know they are love thoughts.

Sea Lion -- I just wish Sage Francis was good at his job. This is garbage.

Be Our Guest -- Because this is the logical follow-up to Snoop and Sage Francis. And the logical precursor to Italian pop. And because everything about Beauty and the Beast is awesome, especially Lee's favorite line, which happens at 4:28 below (although there's a sync problem with the audio): Gaston's incredible delivery of "Please let me through!" Gaston delivers every line in a way that I can't believe.

(My favorite part is at 2:30, when Belle sings about her favorite part. Because I am sometimes a 12-year-old girl. Wait, what?)



Una Favola -- This is a pretty song with a pretty video.

Daedel's Organ -- What do you know about looping a minute of music into a 60-minute mix CD, Justin? And it being the single greatest mix CD ever? I want so badly to have this be my ringtone, but I can't figure it out. So I just sing it whenever the phone rings.

There are some winners after that, but basically:

Sitting on the Dock of the Bay -- This is the greatest song on the CD, actually, after Daedel's Organ (and maybe the FFIV music). Seriously, Otis Redding? Did you mean any of this?

Crazy on You -- Here's the thing: You might think that James Brown is the winner of emotion, or that Seal is, but they both lose to Heart. Nancy Wilson? That guitar? Your sister's voice? Also, whatever this song is about, I want it to happen to me. Because I don't think we're dealing with hyperbole -- I think we are dealing with literal crazy happening on some guy, and it's the preposition that got it done -- "on"? Not "for" or "with" or "into" -- so something's being done on this guy, or to this guy, and after that guitar work, the answer is yes.

Pump up the jams.

Today was my first race-- a 4 miler in Central Park. While the morning did not go according to plan (lots of unexpected craziness and bad weather upon arriving at the park), the race was intense. Having never run a race, much less one in which I was crunched up against people for the entire time, trying to pace myself was a bit of a shock to my system. Between dodging around slow runners and trying to jump out of the way of the runners trying to pass me, I was really uncertain of how well I was actually running. I at least didn't have to worry about being bored!

At the end of the race, I wasn't really tired, just more frustrated with the fact that I am definitely not fast. I am trying to accept (and appreciate) the fact that my body is not made for speed. It is made for endurance. Those fat deposits are great for the long runs. Not so much for the sprints. So good for the marathons. Not so much for the 4 milers in Central Park.

So after trying not to be discouraged for feeling sluggish during the race, the husband and I went out for a nice lunch and visited with my friend, Julia. When we got home this afternoon, we figured out how to check my official race results online. To my surprise, I found out that I had run the 4 miles in 34:18. That's a 8:34 min per mile pace. I am completely pleased with that. I run a steady pace of 9:05 on my short weekly runs and about 9:45 on my long weekend runs-- so 8:34 was a hefty shave off my expected time!

These results are a big boost for my confidence, and I definitely feel more motivated as I am entering into the last stages of my marathon training. Yay!

Now you're a hero.

Yay! We won! Now you try:

You Have to Burn the Rope


(Don't forget to listen to the entire song if you manage to win!)

So very, very close.

This afternoon, we went to lunch and the Blockbuster, hoping good food and a couple of trashy/good movies would mitigate the unrelenting garbagestorm that is New York weather. (At last count the cloud cover has destroyed 90% of the wife's soul.) We picked up Sabrina (the Han Solo version), Waitress, and a few others. It was good work.

Or was it?

See, as we were perusing Blockbuster's "Comedy" section, thinking that laughter is the best way to deal with the blargosity of the state in which we live, and we ran across this:



The title is 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain, and that truly is Hulk Hogan tearing through the cover. Of the 3 Ninjas movies available at Blockbuster, this one was checked out, meaning that somebody got to that shelf, saw the trilogy, and either

a) had seen all but this one, or

b) had seen them all, and knew that this was the best, or

c) had no idea that this movie existed and instantly knew it needed to be seen.

Because 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain has Hulk Hogan in it, as well as Loni Anderson and Ernest from Ernest Goes to Jail. And I know, I know -- it's supposed to be tongue-in-cheek and campy. It's not unintentionally funny like Teen Witch. It's one of those movies that wants to be unintentionally funny, maybe even intentionally funny, but it's just gonna go ahead and fail on all counts.

Or is it? You be the judge: the trailer awaits. Is it even worth the advertisement wait?

What about a little puma?

Try to find out the exact moment when you realize that you need to own these animals -- and also the exact moment when the animals eyes say, "I too little to get you now, but I grow up later and be big enough to eat your whole face." Because baby animals can't speak well.

Also, this song? Really?



What about tigers? And being tired?



Except the real get is here, when you see a cat being actually so very angry -- and the tiger cub is not even trying. It is just playing around.



Here you can really see the eyes that say, "I let you scratch my belly now, but I bite you later." Also, how is the woman who says, "They're like puppies!"? Do puppies grow up to bite your spine?



Anyway, this all started with our discovery of Owen and Mzee, the latter of which is roughly 130 years old and a giant tortoise, and who adopted Owen, a baby hippo. Because of course.

Ignoring that hippos are monsters, tortoises are the secret get of all animals. There doesn't appear to be a video of this story on YouTube, but there is this montage, set to a song that is not cliched at all in this context. Also, feelings.